While I was walking into work from Grand Central I passed a businessman whose face was twitching. His eyebrows would twitch, is lips would pucker then loosen then smile. I have seem this before in people I know, and they can’t control it. I was thinking, what if these uncontrollable actions were actually caused by some sort of parasite. A bug or something that gained control of their face. It would be kind of scary if that were the case (it isn’t).

But my mind - well, my thoughts - brought me to other conclusions. Just because once I get an idea in my head I cannot drop it for the life of me. What if our brain were that parasite. Different brains react differently. This is something that we can easily tell through brain patterns and the chemicals flowing through our body. Each brain is distinct. What if the brain were a symbiotic parasitic lifeform, and the spine were its tail. It is controlling our bodies and all of our movements. It retains control and supresses our body by releasing endorphins and hormones. Read the rest of this entry »

There isn’t much else that goes through my mind on weekdays between 9:45 and 10:00 except that there is an overwhelming smell of eggs. They are smothered in salsa, but I can’t smell the salsa, only the eggs. Eggs should NOT smell this strong. But John definitely loves them because, well, he eats them every day. They are from the cafeteria here at Bear Stearns. I still have not made the effort to visit the cafeteria because it is well outside of my budget. It isn’t like $2-7 is expensive for a meal; a salad or sandwich from home is just so much cheaper!

So what is this all about? Eggs aren’t that important to me. I am generally still full from my oatmeal in the morning so it isn’t like I want his eggs. What it really says to me is that there is no privacy. In a world without walls, my job becomes an intimidating experience. I am constantly watched by my boss from his clear glass observation room (office). I have no walls to hang posters or funny calendars on. I wear a suit into work for no purpose other than to have a uniform appearance when entering the building. I am coding perl like a good monkey should. Read the rest of this entry »

As of Monday I have been on a detox type of diet. I am trying to constrain myself to fruits and vegetables only. The exception here is breakfast, where I have a bowl of oatmeal. This is not easy. I am hungry, and I am tired but that is probably because of my body actually detoxing.

I try to keep myself in line by writing down all the foods I have cravings for throughout the day. Sure, I end up thinking about the foods longer than before (y’know, long enough to write them down), but it is an outlet. So, here is the list in no particular order: Read the rest of this entry »

This is something that I have been thinking about for quite a while now. In New York, there are a lot of revolving doors. I tend to not use them. I don’t use them because revolving doors are usually just large enough to cut my stride in half, meaning that I generally hit the door in front of me or behind me with my feet. It is annoying, and most people in New York have no patience for the door stopping while I avoid falling.

So, most places have an option for a regular door, and on that regular door it says “Please use revolving door.” Bah humbug to you, and your tiny revolving doors! I mean, the writing on the door isn’t like the “Please stay off grass” signs, where me entering a different door will affect much. They lose a bit more of the cool air from the building, but I am under the impression that revolving doors are more about controlling traffic than anything else. Read the rest of this entry »

Just to establish that things are definately different around here, I thought I would share one little corporate mailing that I recieved yesterday. It was asking for an update of our information for one of the Senior Managing directors. Below is the information they asked for. And in case you would have missed the culture shock, I have highlighted the information that they requested which blew me out of the water:

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Okay, so I haven’t been taking any illegal drugs. I have been taking anti-biotics. My head is swimming but I am not high in that way. I am high on Jesus (like that guy in the subway said last week) but that isn’t it either. So why am I high?

Well, it turns out that genetics are against me. Strongly against me. It turns out that at 24 years of age I just happen to have borderline blood pressure and suprisingly high bad cholesterol. That is why I am high, blood pressure and cholesterol. Oh, and I have low levels of the good cholesterol to boot! Read the rest of this entry »

I may be a bit light headed from donating blood, but I am happy to be where I am. It is difficult for me to ever feel content. Go ahead, ask around, you aren’t the only person who thinks that I am an insanely pessimistic individual who generally only points out the negative in most situations. So sitting around and thinking about good things feels somewhat unnatural.

Before I get into those good things though, I would like to complain about something. Our company has 1000’s of people in a single building. An administrative announcement was sent out two weeks ago about a blood drive being held on the second floor. Why was no one but myself there? It is a two day blood drive and I doubt they will get 100 pints of blood due to the poor outcome. Why are people so afraid to give blood? Do they just not care? Are they afraid of needles? Read the rest of this entry »